Disney Keeps It PG for the Non-PG Guests

24 Sep

Disney will have a special place in most people’s hearts, whether you prefer princesses, princes or the ‘toons, there’s no doubt that the Disney theme parks are constantly crowded with visitors from generations X to millennial. However with this large demographic comes a lot of shenanigans, accidents and a high risk of unwanted behaviour and since Disney are strict in maintaining their fantastical world, all issues will be labelled (PG-appropriately) within its walls.

Be rude and/or disruptive and you’ll be referred to as a “treasured guest”.

Thrown up your burger and coke from that last rollercoaster ride? You’ve just caused a “protein spill” at which point staff would be called onsite for a “code V”.

Not limited to rollercoasters, should someone accidentally ‘go number 1’ in the pool, they’ve initiated a “Code Winnie”.

“Signal 70”  is used for a lost child without the ‘lost’ to avoid causing the child to panic.

“Signal 25” is for a fire, once again, to avoid the potential guest stampede.

“The Kiss Goodnight” this is reserved for guests who happen to linger half an hour after the park’s closing time. This is a recorded Magic Kingdom dedication speech  is played, accompanied with the special lighting effects on the Castle which is, quite possibly, the more polite way to tell guests to kindly get the hell out of there because the cast members need to go home too!

And for our final code word, a question for you dear reader, how many ash scattering attempts does it take before Disney has a “White Powder Alert” code set up to stop any ride and clear the dead’s remains? I would personally like an answer for that one Disney because, although Disney Land/World is a fantastical, sentimental place, I don’t see spreading ashes as a particularly sentimental thing to do, after all I would not want my remains to land in some poor kid’s ice cream or hair.